my other poem

[poofacekilla]

"The One I Let Go"


She was the type of girl you never thought you would be with.
The type of girl you had dreams about.
The type of girl that got looks all around.
Her skin, like velvet to the touch,
And a soft caramel color.
With hair as soft as silk.
And eyes shimmering, as though they were diamonds glistening in the sun.
She was the type of girl that was as perfect as perfect can be.
I remember her, as though I had just seen her yesterday.
And as I sit, I ask myself,
Why did i let her go?
And now she is my broken heart.


plz c&c this poem

[poofacekilla]

lol i guess no one likes my poem

[Abstract]

This one is interesting too, and I just want to take the time to critique it properly. As soon as I have some time, I'll go over both of them.

[Abstract]

Another short to the point poem, I admit I like that style. However, as a female, I can't really identify with the loss of this woman. There are some nice similies and you use your words well. This is an ok poem, but not as good (in my opinion, as in my level of satisfaction after having read it) as the other one.

[poofacekilla]

lol there was no woman... just the poem

[Abstract]

Oh, I guess I'm too literal...

[poofacekilla]

no, everyone thinks there was a chick, but there wasnt... i just like trickin folks lol

[Abstract]

Well, at least you know you are good at what you do. If you conveyed the emotion of loss so well that everyone thinks there was a girl, then you must be doing something right.